Ekphrasis Poem

So I’ve been debating whether to submit an ekphrasis poem to ARAS. Must decide soon because the deadline is 15 November. The theme is “offering”. It’s a work in progress. A second version is at the bottom of this post. Feel free to comment or make suggestions:

version 1

Terra Cotta

Some Egyptian made it out of clay
five thousand years ago –
the arms are holding up a sky.

Today, I’ll take its place.

<ee>

By googling I found out where “she” is. Fascinating to see more detail, and the suggestion of the mix of bird and human features. I may try to explore that aspect of birds and flight more – perhaps make the poem longer… The pose is full of intention and makes me think of the lifting up the sky pose in Qigong.

And in writing this small poem, I discovered that Terra cotta objects are NOT made on a wheel and pottery is. Just as simple as that…

Coincidentally (or not), two days ago, I was trying to write a poem that tied the image to (or contrasted it with) this disturbing story about Toronto as a Killer City of migratory birds and how a group of volunteers (FLAP)   go around every early morning, gathering up dead and injured birds.

I do not feel yet, I have the skill to juxtapose the two elements in one poem, but maybe, I’ll add just a bit more (after seeing the figurine from different angles and close-up). Do the extra new bits help?

version 2

Terra Cotta

Some Egyptian made it out of clay
++++five thousand years ago –
++++the face is like a bird,
++++the arms are holding up a sky

Today – with wings – I’ll take
++++ its place

<ee>

[Note – 7 Nov 2012 : This poem is still a work in progress..it’s still growing…drafts are still being written…]

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